Lithium
by Katastropheeeee
Summary: Desperate to escape the world that is crumbling before her eyes, Sakura turns to the numbing release of alcohol. Pushing away all those who try to help, she hides herself, unable to accept the consequences of her choices. Sakura. M for abusive themes.
1. Crutch

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters in Naruto. I just manipulate them like my own personal voodoo dolls.

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><p><span>Lithium<span>

Chapter One: Crutch

Blindly the bubblegum haired kunoichi reached out for another bottle.

It seemed that her current one was empty.

Unfortunately her fingers met nothing by empty air.

Throwing her body over to the other side of the bed she leaned down and located her alcohol.

Grasping the bottle she heaved her weakened body back up onto the bed and struggled with the cap.

Prying it off with her fingers, she hissed in pain as she tore the skin.

The cool glass met her lips and the harsh liquid burned down her throat, providing her with the satisfaction she craved.

A thump in the general direction started her from her reverie.

The bottle slipped from her lips as she flinched and she successfully sloshed her drink down her front.

"Sakura! Let me in." cried a familiar voice, but Sakura couldn't quite indentify it's owner.

Not that it mattered.

If she had her way, she'd never have to remember anything ever again.

"Fuck off…" she slurred, before taking another swig of the bottle.

The alcohol burned down her throat.

Drowning her pain.

"I'm not leaving until you let me in." came the voice again.

Sakura looked up at the door.

It was well barricaded with almost every stick of furniture that she could get her hands on.

Whoever they were, they weren't getting in.

"I think not." she mumbled as her head hit the pillow again.

Closing her eyes she settled in the bed.

Maybe this time she wouldn't wake up, and finally she could escape all this pain.

A crash resounded from the other room.

Evidently the persistent bastard had tried to break through the door.

"You'll have to do better than that!" she cackled before blindly taking another gulp from the bottle.

Wood splintered with the next blow, and Sakura started.

Opening her eyes she sat up.

Who was it? Who had come to remind of the harsh world she sought refuge from?

"I said fuck off." she snapped as she swung her legs over the bed.

Glass cracked and she felt a dull pain in her feet.

Looking down she saw that she had stepped on some broken glass.

Blood seeped out from the wound, staining the floor.

Taking another step, more glass bit into her foot.

"Who the fuck left all this glass on the floor?" she hissed as she stumbled out of the bedroom.

A crash sounded in the other room as a body thwacked against the wooden door.

Sakura watched in horror as her furniture shifted and moved away from the splintered remains of the door.

The person responsible would soon be revealed.

A shock of silver hair identified the intruder.

"Sakura…" murmured the older shinobi, his eyes meeting hers.

It had been so long since she had seen, much less spoken to her former sensei.

Sakura stared at him, her mouth hanging open; her hands limp at her sides and the now half empty bottle dangling from her fingers.

It took a moment for her to remember how to speak his name.

"Kakashi-sensei." she drawled. "Good to see you. How about a drink?" she offered as she raised the bottle to her lips again.

A frown creased her visitor's face as he stared at her.

"What?" she exclaimed, her own forehead crinkling.

The look in his eyes was oddly familiar.

An awful mixture of pity and disappointment.

Next would come anger, followed by the inevitable blow - either to her face or to her chest.

Cold sweat trickled down her back.

Wobbling back, she drove a piece of glass right through her heel.

The pain in her feet reached new levels of agony, pain springing across her synapses, desperate to inform her brain of the problem.

Lightheadedness claimed her sense of balance and she crashed to the floor.

Sakura happily allowed unconsciousness to overcome her.

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><p>[EndChapterOne]<p> 


	2. Fragile

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters in Naruto. I just manipulate them like my own personal voodoo dolls.

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><p><span>Lithium<span>

Chapter Two: Fragile

Looking down at the drunken kunoichi Kakashi stifled a sigh.

Swallowing hard he began to pick his way through the various pieces of broken furniture towards the now unconscious medic.

It seemed that Sakura had not been well in his absence.

Her emancipated drunken form were evidence enough, but her response to his arrival was frightening.

Just how long had she been like this?

Naruto had told him that Sakura wasn't coping well, but he had never imagined that she could fall this far in such a short period of time.

Sakura was supposed to be the most level headed of them all.

Kneeling down by her side he rolled her over slightly, brushing her bubblegum pink locks from her face.

"Oh, Sakura…" he murmured, taking his former student in his arms.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw what he thought was a shadow on the kunoichi's face.

Closer inspection however proved this theory incorrect.

Gently he pushed Sakura's head back with two fingers, revealing dark bruising to her jaw.

This mark was no accident.

That kind of bruising was the direct result of a harsh upper cut to the jaw.

Glancing back at the barricade Sakura had constructed, it seemed that there was more to this situation than met the eye.

Sakura was defending herself, but from whom?

A soft groan escaped from the kunoichi's lips, forcing the silver haired shinobi to stop his musing and return his attention to his former pupil.

Initially he had assumed that she had collapsed from utter inebriation.

However, as he knelt beside her he noticed the blood staining the carpet and the glass embedded in her feet.

Looking back the way she had come he saw a multitude of broken bottles on the floor and her bloody footsteps.

It seemed that a particularly nasty shard had torn through her heel.

Lifting the kunoichi up, he marveled once again at her frailty.

Sakura's weight had dropped drastically, her figure bony and taunt.

Kakashi carried her gently, worried that if he applied too much pressure, she'd break.

Following the trail of her bloodied footprints he located her bedroom.

The bed seemed to be the best option.

Around it however was a minefield of broken glass – it was on these shards that Sakura had cut her feet.

The source seemed to be a myriad of alcoholic containers, discarded once drained.

These ranged from cheap wine and beer to vodka and rum bottles.

Being careful to avoid the broken glass, he placed the kunoichi's unconscious form on the bed.

Sakura's face twitched, her brow furrowing and her mouth forming a hard line.

Whatever she saw, it could not have been good.

Regardless, he needed to focus his attention on her feet.

Depending on how far the shard had penetrated her foot, Sakura could possibly need better medical attention that he could provide.

Retrieving her medical pouch he set to work, removing the pieces of glass one by one.

The skin on her feet was awfully thin, the blue of her veins standing out against the almost translucent alabaster.

In fact, Sakura's entire body was thin and pale.

Whatever her condition, it seemed that she had been like this for quite some time.

Why had no one intervened?

This question swirled around as he pulled the bits of glass one by one from her feet.

Even as he did so, he noticed the blood ceasing to flow, the skin beginning to knit shut.

Sakura was automatically healing the damage even as she slept.

Carefully extracting the largest shard he started when the slightest groan of pain issued from the kunoichi's lips.

Glancing over at his unconscious charge he double-checked that she was indeed asleep.

Sakura's tired face was scrunched up into a mask of pain, but still she slept.

Whether it was her dream or his own attempt at healing he wasn't certain.

All that mattered was that she was still asleep.

Relieved, he removed the final shard and examined the wound.

Blood oozed slowly from it, but even that was slowly halting, the skin beginning to harden with dark scab.

Regardless, he decided to help her along somewhat.

Smearing the wounds with an ointment he found in her pouch he contemplated his options.

Kakashi knew that he couldn't leave her like this.

Sakura needed his help.

Leaving now would result in the kunoichi resuming her old habits, regardless of his protests.

His best chance of helping her beat this was to push her through it.

That would mean staying here long term.

Sakura needed to sober up, and fast.

All trace of alcohol needed to be removed from her reach, as soon as possible.

While she may not enjoy his methods, he refused to watch her destroy herself.

Looking around the room he couldn't help but sigh.

It was mess.

That was going have to change.

Immediately.

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><p>[EndChapterTwo]<p> 


	3. Spotless

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters in Naruto. I just manipulate them like my own personal voodoo dolls.

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><p><span>Lithium<span>

Chapter Three: Spotless

Blearily the kunoichi opened her eyes, her head throbbing.

How much did she have to drink last night?

No matter how much it was, it clearly was not quite enough - as she was still alive.

The aching mess that was her body was evidence enough of that.

Sunlight streamed through an open window, throwing sickeningly bright beams upon her bed.

Rubbing her eyes, she sat up gingerly, struggling against the tangle of sheets.

Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she stepped onto the cool wooden slats that made up her floor.

The kunoichi's body was shaking, her fingers trembling uncontrollably.

Ignoring the possible connotations of her symptoms, she realized that she couldn't remember that last time she ate.

Her stomach growled in protest as if to emphasize this point.

Food sounded like a good idea.

Alcohol was even better.

Sakura walked towards the kitchen, unable to put her finger on what had changed.

Opening the fridge she was surprised to find it full of generally fresh food.

The kunoichi couldn't recall having gone shopping. At least not recently.

Closing the fridge she opened one of the kitchen cupboards searching for something at least half decent.

The first things she noticed was that her alcohol was most definitely not where it should be. This being within reach.

While angering her, the thing that bothered her was the fact that the cupboard was much too clean for her liking.

Things had been arranged by height. And colour.

Closing the cupboard, her forehead furrowed in confusion, she turned to face the way she had come.

At last it dawned on her.

It was clean. Terrifyingly so.

What on Earth had happened here?

The front door swung open.

Automatically the kunoichi ducked behind the counter, catching her wrist on the counter as she did so.

"Fuck…" she hissed through gritted teeth, her blood pounding in her ears.

Clutching her wrist she contemplated her options.

Escape was impossible now.

However, it seemed that her guest was not who she had originally expected.

"Oh good, you're finally awake." came Kakashi's familiar voice.

Sakura peered over the counter, her eyes narrowed in mistrust.

"…and what may I ask are you doing here?" she asked, maintaining the intensity of her glare.

The silver haired shinobi's mask creased into a smirk.

"I just picked up a few more supplies. I noticed that you were missing a few of the essentials as I was straightening things up."

Sakura's gaze rested on a punnet of strawberries that was perched precariously on top of the paper bag her former teacher held in his hands.

"Strawberries are essentials?" she said with a frown.

Kakashi responded with a shrug.

"What are you doing hiding behind the counter anyway?" he asked as he pushed the door shut with his elbow and made his way towards the kitchen counter she was crouched behind.

Sakura took this moment to straighten, clutching the counter in an attempt to stop her trembling fingers ignoring the pain that lanced up from her wounded wrist.

"You surprised me. Anyway, I was already a little shocked by the state of my kitchen cupboards." she admitted.

The older shinobi's slate grey eye met hers.

"I took the liberty of organizing a few things while you were asleep." he said simply as he began unpacking the groceries.

Handing her a carton of milk her motioned for her to put it in the fridge.

Sakura obliged before she even knew what she was doing.

"Wait a minute!" she exclaimed just as the door of the fridge wheezed shut.

Kakashi, unperturbed by her outburst was currently occupied with filling the container conveniently labeled with flour, with flour.

Sakura couldn't recall the last time she even used flour, though that was beside the point.

"You? You're responsible for the almost antiseptically clean state of my apartment?" she cried incredulously.

The older shinobi merely shrugged again, while carefully guiding each last speck of flour into the container.

Each time Sakura attempted to do so, she couldn't help but spill some.

While somewhat jealous, she watched mesmerized until he was done.

"I simply dislike living in chaos." he said as he methodically flattened the paper bag that was former bursting with flour and threw it into the rubbish bin.

Sakura stared up at him, her mouth hanging slightly ajar.

"My apartment is, or was for that matter, not chaos." she retorted as he continued to unpack the paper bag before them.

"You have to admit it wasn't great." he counted, holding out an egg carton.

A cold expression hardened the kunoichi's features.

"At least there was a mostly unobstructed path from the kitchen to the couch to the bed." she said huffily, snatching the carton from his fingers.

It took a moment for her to realize the piece of vital information she had almost missed.

"Wait a moment. What do you mean living...?"

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><p>[EndChapterThree]<p> 


	4. Neglect

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the characters in Naruto. I just manipulate them like my own personal voodoo dolls.

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><p>Author's Note: I'd like to thank you all for your kind support and warm reviews :D It really means a lot – and I am sorry this chapter took a little bit longer than I expected, but it's here now and there's another to follow shortly! K.<p>

Lithium

Chapter Four: Neglect

Author's Note: I'd like to thank you all for your kind support and warm reviews :D It really means a lot – and I am sorry this chapter took a little bit longer than I expected, but it's here now and there's another to follow shortly!

The indignant expression the kunoichi's face was priceless.

While he had taken care to drop hints along the way, it seemed that they had been too subtle for Sakura to pick up on right away.

Irritated couldn't begin to describe Sakura's facial expression.

Pressing his lips into a firm line he tried to hide his smile, somewhat amused a how events had unfolded.

Delving into the paper bag, he removed the last of the groceries, placing them on the counter.

Hoping to distract the kunoichi, he was disappointed to find his plan fail.

Sakura eyed the assortment of objects with interest as he removed them from the bag, but her attention remained fixated on him.

Despite his expectations, Sakura seemed entirely fine.

Given her previous state, he wasn't prepared to see her so animated.

Unfortunately, he was quite certain that this was simply a mask she wore for the sake of the outside world.

Could this be why no one expected it to be as bad as it was?

Kakashi couldn't be certain.

Regardless, the kunoichi before him was a far cry from the inebriated creature he had encountered the first time he barged in.

Doubt niggled at him.

If he hadn't seen it himself, he wouldn't have believed Sakura capable of falling so low.

Perhaps he had simply come at a bad time?

No. It wasn't that.

Kakashi knew that he couldn't simply will this problem away, not now having seen the state she was in.

It couldn't have been a once off either.

Though the bottles may have been gone, their number could not be so easily explained away.

The collection around her bed took time – and dedication for that matter.

This was a deep-rooted and long last addiction.

As soon as he left, she would fall back into the clutches of alcohol.

Kakashi couldn't help but notice her trembling fingers.

Clutching the counter she made the fact less obvious, but he could still see her arms shaking.

If he didn't put a stop to it now, there was a slim chance of her recovering from it at all.

From the moment that she had entrusted in his care, Kakashi had neglected her somewhat.

At first, Sasuke was a prodigy, and required almost all of his attention.

Sasuke began to slip, whereas Naruto was proving himself to be quite a formidable ninja himself.

Sakura simply slipped to the sidelines.

While he noted that she had natural talent in the field of genjustu, he had never developed it.

Sasuke defected, Naruto went off and trained with Jiraiya and Sakura became Tsunade's apprentice.

Kakashi expected Sakura to simply fill the role of medic from then on.

It made perfect sense.

As the weakest member of their team, she would be much safer on the sidelines.

While this reasoning was sound, it wasn't entirely accurate.

Kakashi conveniently ignored the fact that he was neglecting her training, and thus rendered her the weakest.

Once reunited as Team 7, Kakashi was surprised by her formidable strength as well as her evasive abilities.

There was more to her than he had expected.

While he was loath to admit it, he had neglected her for far too long.

To make matters worse, the kunoichi herself had accepted it.

Ignoring her now was out of the question.

Ironically, this was exactly what he was currently doing.

"Well…?" she prodded, awaiting a response of some description.

Returning his thoughts to the present, he met the bubblegum haired kunoichi's cold stare.

"I'm not going to neglect you anymore, Sakura." he murmured, holding out a hand.

Sakura eyed him suspiciously.

"What are you doing?" she asked, confusion furrowing her brow.

The silver haired shinobi allowed himself a small smile.

Stepping closer, ignoring the momentary flash of fear that crossed her features, he gently took her left wrist in his hands.

Warily she searched his features for any sign of malicious intent.

"It looks like you gave this a really good knock." he said as his fingers gently prodded the already swelling skin.

Sakura's eyes sparkled with moisture, tears burning in her eyes.

Inspecting the wound, Kakashi concluded that while not broken, it would remain tender for a while.

Already it was turning a brilliant shade of purple.

Pushing back her sleeve to gain better access to her wrist a dark shadow caught his gaze.

More bruising.

Though he said nothing, he took in the deep purple handprint that had been marked into the kunoichi's forearm.

With the exposure of her injuries, she was brought back on the defensive.

Pulling her injured wrist from his grip, angrily tugging the sleeve over the marks she glared up at him.

"I'm fine." she snapped, moving to turn away.

While her control was commendable, the mask was slipping.

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><p>[EndChapterFour]<p> 


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